Money, thats what I want

I just paid 105.00 to my bank for some sort of bounced check safety program. In return for my rent check not bouncing, they charged me $105.00.

Thanks?

Things like this always make me feel like a child. Checking my account online and being greeted by a negative number is never a great feeling. Having a conversation that goes:
“Well use your credit card”
“I don’t have a credit card”
“Are you joking? How old are you?”
Never makes me feel good. I’m not a money lover but sheesh do I need to get on the stick. I’ve always prided myself on not being someone who feels they need money, but it gives me neck cramps to think that I am sitting on nothing.
Personally I blame my parents (and why not?). They are the worst when it comes to saving. Growing up my family was constantly on the edge of being okay, but never quite there. It was well known that my parents would spend on awesome vacations, inviting our friends along for the ride. But when we got back it was go time, and there was no room for financial flaunts. It’s hard to live your life that way, and I knew it then, and I see it for myself now. My parents still live like this; when I told my mom about my bounced checks she laughed and then told me she ate too much left over Chinese food and maybe it was bad and she should probably go.

I am not a good spender or saver. I’m not a haggler; I’m not one to ask for money I deserve. I pay for rounds and I lose dollars. I say yes to dinners and drinks, and I’m a child when it comes to food shopping because I buy things I don’t need or like and sometimes they rot and I say “…oh that. I forgot about that. I would’ve eaten that, maybe I should buy more.” I’m very naive about these life-business sorts of things, which is an irony to me since I find myself to be very exposed and well versed in other subjects. Important things like movies quotes.

But ya know, I’m not really a big money lover, and maybe that’s my big flaw.
I love clothes and food but I can do without if I was happy with my life and profession. If I was a money type of person then why would I want to be a writer? If I wanted to be rich why wouldn’t I just be a dentist? Or a contraption inventor? Or an MLB All-star?
No.
Instead I chose to be a writer, a profession that will never get me a key into Bungalow 8 or a key into a mansion or a key into a fancy car but maybe a key into a bicycle lock unless someone filled it with gum and in that case I’ll have to walk to work.

I think that tomorrow I’m going to go get a credit card. Yes. And then a taco to celebrate. And I’ll charge it on my credit card and then I’ll have some credit. Taco credit. And then when people say “Gabi you have no savings?! What are you going to do?” And I can say “Yes but I have credit. Taco credit.”
Which is clearly the best kind.