Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Back to ole' NYC
I have skipped a few days as I was away in California for the Coachella music festival.
But as some of you know, before I left my babygirldog Zoey had to be put to sleep. I'm not going to get into it as I don't want to cry at work (again) but let me just say that there was never a better dog, and being there with her right before and walking out knowing... it was one of the hardest things I will ever have to do in my life. (I hope.) My mother stayed in the room, something I will never have the courage nor impulse to do.
Its very frustrating as I don't even know what to do with the hard ball i feel in my chest every time I talk about her, and I know I know, she was just a dog.
But she was my dog, my girl.
She was not even four. I will miss her forever and always wonder if there was something I could have done differently. (ANNNND crying at work, again)
I feel like my going away simply put off the inevitable sadness that swallowed me once I came back to New York; getting into bed last night at frigging 3 am after a long delayed flight and an overnight drive I just knew I'd lose it. And I did. Nothing like a good cry though, proves that I feel feelings just like every other human being.
But now I am moving the blog onto brighter tidings because life moves on and we must move on or else be pulled down into the sad stuff that sucker punches us in the back of the head with unexpected cruelty and without regard to fair play.
(Am I bitter? Fuck yeah I am. And I have every right to be bitter. I don't understand karma or good auras and I thought I did. I thought what goes around comes around but since this new year has begun all I have seen is this weird barrage of the bad getting rewarded and the good suffering and yeah I'm fucking bitter. All I see paying off for everyone to some extent is hard work, and how can you work hard at saving something that is sick or helping something out of your control. )
Coachella. Really fucking amazing.
Best bands--- (aka songs to download) as I can remember off the top of my broken head...
Sia (Breathe me)
Cold war kids
All in all I'd say that Bonnaroo was better; however, the dance scene couldn't ever hold a candle to Coachella. My biggest issues with Coachella were - drinking restricted to the tents, police presence, less hippies more hipsters, and some rather short sets.
But the weather was amazing and it was so nice to be at a festival without boiling in the sun. I've never been to Cali before and from what little I saw of it it seems like a place I would really enjoy.
I'd write some more but now I am back in New York, at WORK and I just don't feel like it. I JUST DON'T OKAY??!!
I promise my next entry will be riveting.